On “Crazy Hair Day”: A Letter to Daycare

To be Black and raise Black children comes with a lifetime commitment to safeguarding their physical and emotional safety as much as possible as they navigate systems that are hostile to them. The education system is but one of many.

During a talk on Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome, I once heard Dr. Joy Degruy share about her involvement in her grandchildren’s education process in which she asks teachers what mechanisms they have in place to mitigate the impact of white supremacy in their classrooms as an overwhelming amount of historical and contemporary evidence suggests that it’s not a matter of if, but when harm would be done in the classroom to children with Black bodies. I have my own experiences navigating anti-Blackness in education, and it resonates with an additional sense of urgency as I reflect on my journey as a Black parent raising a Black child.

Sharing a letter I wrote to my child’s daycare in response to a “Crazy Hair Day” theme. It starts early.

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I understand that the center held a “crazy hair day” event recently. Although our child was not at school that day, I wanted to reach out and share links to a few starter articles that speak to why we find crazy hair days challenging as Black parents. We recognize that the intent of this theme day is rooted in good intentions, and our goal here is to focus on the impact instead. 

Though it might seem subtle to some, we see crazy hair days as being connected to a larger pattern of messaging that communicates to white children as well as children of color that there are certain standards about what “normal” hair looks like that more often than not define Black children’s hair as being abnormal and out of bounds of what is considered acceptable. 

We see this messaging institutionalized and reinforced in the ways that many Black girls are sent home, suspended from school, or otherwise disciplined for wearing their hair the way it grows from their heads, and also see it reflected later in life in the workplace; prompting recent legislation in New York banning hair discrimination in hiring. 

We are intimately familiar with the impact of this messaging and the way it is connected to very real decisions made by educators and the results of those decisions on the lives of Black children as they navigate their educational journey, and as Black parents, we strive to be proactive about ways to support our child’s self-esteem and self-image; offering counter-narratives where we can, and also staying in communication with schools and teachers about the impact of messaging like this for the benefit of all children, as no parent wants their child to feel othered or internalize harmful messages about themselves. 

We feel confident that you would be open to having this conversation and will receive our message as a starting place for continued reflection and action. We also understand that this may be a part of the company-wide curriculum/programming and any decisions about modifications may be beyond your individual control. If there are people in the company who have more official agency to make changes regarding “crazy hair” day who we would be able to talk to and share this message, please let us know that as well. 

Additional articles are linked below:

Schools: Stop Doing Crazy Hair Day: “The reason is that you are, albeit inadvertently, telegraphing to black kids especially but also every other child that the ways in which we (black people) wear our hair aren’t normal. This is just a small thing, but these small things add up and it becomes death by ten thousand paper cuts….

Also, ask your kid’s school not to call it “crazy” hair day either. This language is ableist and unduly stigmatizes people with mental illnesses. And when black hairstyles are worn and labeled as “crazy,” it also stigmatizes black people with mental illness.”

The Problem With Crazy Hair Day: “Very simply put, many common ways for White girls to wear their hair on a “Crazy Hair Day” are either suggestive (sometimes exaggerated versions or parodies) or direct examples of ways that Black girls wear their hair everyday. I interpret “Crazy Hair Day” as a day to put your child’s hair in a style that is weird, unusual, silly, or laughable.

Though my daughter’s ponytails were not the same as the hairstyles that some Black girls her age might wear, I felt I had implied that wearing her hair in multiple ponytails was “abnormal.” In a society where Black girls have been policed and even punished by schools because of the ways they wear their hair, I’m not comfortable participating in that message.”

When Black Hair Violates The Dress Code: “In recent years, black girls have been sent home for wearing dreads, head wraps and even wearing their hair naturally.”

When Hair Breaks Rules: Some Black Children are Getting in Trouble for Natural Hairstyles: “The New York City Commission on Human Rights recognized a problem of discrimination based on hair or hairstyle with new guidance this week that classifies such restrictions in workplaces, schools and public places as racial discrimination. The guidelines point specifically to the rights of people to maintain their “natural hair, treated or untreated hairstyles such as locs, cornrows, twists, braids, Bantu knots, fades, Afros, and/or the right to keep hair in an uncut or untrimmed state.”

Thanks for listening.”

To be Black and raise Black children comes with a lifetime commitment to safeguarding their physical and emotional safety as much as possible as they navigate systems that are hostile to them. The education system is but one of many.

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Update:

This post is also featured on the Notes from an Aspiring Humanitarian Podcast.

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Ubuntu,

From Aspiring Humanitarian, Relando Thompkins-Jones

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